When I was in elementary, I seriously believed that one day, when I grow old, I will be a pediatrician. I guess it stemmed from my childhood wherein I was often hospitalized and my pediatrician never failed to give me something whenever I go in for check-ups. At the time, I had weak lungs which turned into something nasty. Fortunately, my lungs got better through swimming.

During high school, I was so convinced that I should either take up Journalism or Creative Writing. I thought I was doing well by being promoted from a Junior Editor to becoming the Opinion and Feature Editor. However, having an actual obligation to write a number of articles suddenly made writing painstakingly difficult. I lost my motivation to write and only ever did it if I had to. Hence, I failed to develop this skill.

Come my last year in high school and I still didn’t have any idea on a course to pursue. My parents, instead of begging me to take a course they wanted me to take which was the common scenario, simply told me to pursue whatever I want to as long as I become a productive citizen once I graduate. Application forms to universities started piling up and in a moment of pure panic and stupidity, I let fate decide for me. I picked up the booklet from DLSU and listed the colleges available in small pieces of paper which I folded before closing my eyes to get one.

College of Engineering.

I then listed all the engineering courses and if you view my sidebar, you’d know what course I picked. I stuck with it because I had satisfactory grades on Math and Computer subjects all throughout elementary and high school. Lucky for me, I passed all the entrance exams I took without even spending my summer on review centers. My multiple choice guessing skill (and essay writing) is awesome. In your face “right minus wrong”! Haha!

God knows how I have wanted to quit so many times. But I never did. The harder it got, the more I struggled to get through. My mom frequently tells people that to make me work hard, you’ve got to give me a daunting task and tell me that I could never do it. I tend to become easy go lucky when I know I can pass a subject, but when I have qualms about it, I won’t even sleep if I had to.

If you have been a follower of my blog since last year, you’d find how I wasn’t able to graduate when I was supposed to. Through it all, I never really lost my parents’ support, and those of my family, C, and my friends. I may be able to count off of my fingers who are truly there for me, but these people never left no matter how I screw up. I may not seem grateful when I really really am. I am privileged to have a strong support system all the time.

After spending five years of my life in college, the day has finally come for it to end. How could five hours be the culmination of five years’ worth of experiences?

The call time was for 7:30 in the morning forcing us to have to leave by 6 AM. I had to do both my hair and makeup. Here I am, checking if my face is uneven. I was able to curl my hair with a straightening iron but it refused to cooperate and didn’t last as long as I wanted it to.

I was born in a family who values punctuality. We arrived 30 minutes before the designated call time, giving us an opportunity to take several photos in PICC.

Only my parents went to my graduation since the university only provided two seats for each graduating student.

We had to wait for an hour in the queue. Luckily, we were some of the last people to enter the hall since our assigned seats are in the middle. I opted to use NYX Xtreme Lip Cream in Strawberry Jam. I have observed that MUAs often have me sport pink lipsticks bordering on red for photos. Plus, I register on camera fairly pale for some unknown reason. I took to either sitting or taking off my shoes and standing barefoot. I wasn’t informed that aside from waiting too long, we had to go down a long flight of stairs with thousands of people watching. I held on tightly to the staircase as I descended, in fear of dying – of shame – when I trip and land on my face wearing my 4.5-inch heels.

Can you spot me? 🙂

Working on the same thesis for more than a year with them was full of ups and downs. So many parents were trying to capture photos of us, I didn’t know where to actually look.

After my graduation ceremony, the parents insisted on having studio-taken photos.

I am so not used to walking in heels. It felt like getting my toes chopped off one by one.

I may not have graduated with Latin honors, or with any distinctions. But at least, I know deep within me that I worked for it and that I deserve this. Ginapang ko ‘to! Yes, if I had a chance for a do over, I would probably try to focus a little more on my studies. However, I will live with no regrets as those are things that I cannot change. I would rather just focus on the present and not make the same mistakes. 🙂

My plans are now a little less vague and I have already made important decisions within myself. I will simply keep it under the wraps for now and will openly talk about it once I start to actually implement those plans.

 

I have reason to believe that Fate enjoys playing tricks on me. I missed important calls because

• I didn’t hear it from my pocket.
• and my phone started malfunctioning while I was away from home.

I also received my first ever “regret” letter. I may not be the best out there but I have always managed to at least pass screenings. I don’t necessarily win but I get to the final round, and I’ve never backed down without giving my all. Getting that letter without even exhausting any effort to prove myself isn’t the happiest feeling but I guess I could live with it. Some of my friends have told me that maybe – just maybe – my standards are too high and unachievable. But I am twenty, and if I don’t set great goals and dream big now, when will I get to do it? I like a good challenge and my biggest competition had always been myself. I enjoy beating my own records more than beating other people (although that feels nice too) because I will always have room for improvement.

The homily during the baccalaureate mass was something I could relate to, especially at that moment.

Excellence scares people away because it gives out the notion that to be excellent you have to be perfect. But to excel is to know that you are imperfect in an imperfect world, but you never stop trying to be better.

Looking back, you might have a lot of things you would do over if you could, but you shouldn’t have regrets. Every distraction, every mistake, everything.. brought you to where you are now. If you fail at something, it means there is something bigger and better waiting for you.

You should be gentle on yourself. The world is a harsh place and you owe it to yourself to be gentle. In relation to that, be gentle upon others. Do you really want to be that person who makes the world harsh?

Unfortunately for me, my memory retained half of the homily but excluded the Lasallian brother who delivered it. *palm to forehead*

Now, enough of the drama. I just needed to write about it to move on (it’s therapeutic). At least the heart ache was worth it. 🙂

The last day I availed of the student fare was a fun and tiring one! I was at school by 9 AM to pick up the graduation uniform and had to walk in 3-inch wedges the whole day. It was so sweltering, my hair stuck to the back of my neck and my sweat seemed to attract the fabric of my dress. I was so tempted to swap my flip flops for my shoes (I have been getting queries about this one since my last post. I  bought it from Forever 21 Singapore during the Great Singapore Sale last year), and that was what I did at the latter part of the day. Di ko na kaya mag-tiis ganda!

We were required to wear our toga during the mass. And just my luck, the one I got smelled like it have been used for three consecutive graduations without meeting any soap nor suds. My mom even described the smell as “amoy ukay”.

Only nine Computer Engineering students were candidates for graduation during the 164th Commencement Exercises of the university (and we’re missing one in this photo).

The rehearsal took more than two hours and I had to stay up until 8 PM in the university.

Life has been said to be a race, a game, a story.. and I now entered the next round, another level, and an entirely new chapter of mine. 🙂

The last day I availed of Student Fare. 🙂 I have posts lined up but the past few days have been tiring, hence, the inactivity.

It’s going to be Friday in a couple of hours and I hope you guys have a fun weekend ahead of you! 🙂

22 March 2012

If you’ve been following me long enough, you’d know that I had to extend for two terms (six months) in college since thesis was holding me us back. I took up a four-year and one term course (thirteen terms) for five years (fifteen terms).

I know this doesn’t sound much since non-trimestral universities offer the course for the same amount of time. However, my parents pay a lot (and I’m emphasizing it for a reason, which isn’t to brag) of money so that I could attend a prestigious university. How much? Let’s just say that I realized we could afford to send around 10 students to another university and it will cost the same as my annual tuition fee.

I can’t even contain my emotions when I had to tell my mom that I would not be graduating for another term when she clearly expected for me to do so. I was so frustrated at myself for a time, not because I gave up (we dropped thesis), not only that they had to pay a hefty amount for another term (damn that miscellaneous fee!).. but I felt like I disappointed my mom. At the start of the term, she had already been telling me how proud she was of having an engineering graduate for a daughter.

However, my mom (although she nags, meddles with my life and annoys me most of the time) had been very supportive all throughout and told me she believed I’ll we’ll make it through this time around. And we did!

This may not seem like the biggest of all accomplishments, but this is it. I am finally graduating. Although I still have to fulfill a lot of other requirements, the biggest roadblock to graduation has been finally cleared!

June, here I come! 🙂

Oh yes, I’m bragging. But grades for Philosophy class just came out and I got 4.0! It may not seem much, but for my raw grade to exceed the total without passing any bonus papers, is a big deal for me. I simply got all the bonus points from class participation. =)

INTFILO is one of the classes I enjoyed the most this term, although the lessons were mind-fucking and seem to be straight out of Inception.

Gah. I hope all my grades this term turn out similar. *fingers crossed*

Dean’s Lister? NOT.

All the more reason to hate thesis.

Gotta catch some sleep. The last time I slept was Thursday night, and I went ahead and partied last night. So yeah, I just got home.

One of the best feelings in the world. :>

Every single time I see this, my heart swells with pride. I worked really hard for this.

Studying for the engineering economy quiz all throughout the wee hours of the morning. This photo I took around 2 AM. It’s 6 AM now and I can barely open my eyes anymore but I have to keep going on. 2 hours per day, six days per week of Engineering Economy, and I feel like all joy has been drained from this world. Gah. And I hate that there’s this oh-shit-I-think-I’ll-fail feeling that just won’t go away. Fuck.