I don’t like tiktok lives. I don’t watch anything beyond 3 hours. But I’ve spent 6 hours total this weekend on laggy tiktok lives to watch the first 2 nights of Taylor’s tour.

Honestly, it’s weird to still be a fan now because I feel like I’ve shed off a lot of the things that 15-year old me used to have. And yet, I’m almost 32 and her discography is still the soundtrack of my life. I always remember where I was whenever any of her albums dropped since 2007 (when I became a fan) and the moments of my life I’ve associated to her songs.

When I meet new people, I try not to scare them about how excited I could get about anything. For years, I was told by someone who claimed to love me that my excitement was overbearing. It’s weird now how a lot of my friends (one time, even my sister) like to say that they like seeing me excited. My eyes light up and I just start glowing. Little by little, I’m re-learning how to be excited again and to not minimize who I am because someone doesn’t know how to handle me. It’s pretty nice to be out here and not having to care whether someone thinks what I do is overzealous.