We’re back (at the hospital)

Hey, guys! 🙂

I have a few posts queued but I probably will not be answering any messages. The past two weeks have been a surreal blur of hospital food, work, daily commute and whatnot. Everything that has happened has a dreamlike quality to it which is mostly due to little sleep and stress. Mom’s been discharged a few times, only to be admitted again. So we decided to have her stay in the hospital until everything has been checked.

A few days ago, I realized how I have actual true friends. Okay.. that sounds weird. But when my mother needed blood (lots of it, really) and I (and the rest of my siblings) turned out to not be compatible (otherwise, they could harvest whatever they need from me as long as it was for my mother – they got a bag of blood out of me for the first time) – a few messages sent to my friends had all of them coordinating with blood banks, hospitals, friends etc. A lot of my family also came together and although I had barely enough sleep due to being the family’s spokesperson (it’s a tough job), it was all worth it.

When I wrote the generic “work well under pressure” in my CV, I have never really proven it. But when you have to decide whether you have to wait for the bloodletting to finish, or pick up the reserved blood bags from other hospitals – among other tough decisions you have to make where time is crucial, you find out.

However, it’s not the decision making or the coordination with hospital staff or having to attend to your mother’s whim that is the hardest. It is when my mom starts the conversation with how she feels it’s unfortunate that she may not be able to see her grandchildren, tasking me to take care of my siblings or giving me advice when I have a family of my own.. I have had to hold back tears, laugh and tell my mom to not worry because she’ll be there to witness all of it. I hold on to that belief with all I have, because if I doubt it, I do not think I can smile and give her any more assurance that everything is going to turn out okay.

So far, mom’s vitals are slowly going up. The doctor ordered a cranial scan, and since it’s a Sunday, the results will probably be out by tomorrow. At this point, I have all my fingers crossed that whatever’s wrong is something we can fix. The waiting is what’s going to kill me at this point. Ugh.

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