060612: Last Day

I have reason to believe that Fate enjoys playing tricks on me. I missed important calls because

I didn’t hear it from my pocket.
and my phone started malfunctioning while I was away from home.

I also received my first ever “regret” letter. I may not be the best out there but I have always managed to at least pass screenings. I don’t necessarily win but I get to the final round, and I’ve never backed down without giving my all. Getting that letter without even exhausting any effort to prove myself isn’t the happiest feeling but I guess I could live with it. Some of my friends have told me that maybe – just maybe – my standards are too high and unachievable. But I am twenty, and if I don’t set great goals and dream big now, when will I get to do it? I like a good challenge and my biggest competition had always been myself. I enjoy beating my own records more than beating other people (although that feels nice too) because I will always have room for improvement.

The homily during the baccalaureate mass was something I could relate to, especially at that moment.

Excellence scares people away because it gives out the notion that to be excellent you have to be perfect. But to excel is to know that you are imperfect in an imperfect world, but you never stop trying to be better.

Looking back, you might have a lot of things you would do over if you could, but you shouldn’t have regrets. Every distraction, every mistake, everything.. brought you to where you are now. If you fail at something, it means there is something bigger and better waiting for you.

You should be gentle on yourself. The world is a harsh place and you owe it to yourself to be gentle. In relation to that, be gentle upon others. Do you really want to be that person who makes the world harsh?

Unfortunately for me, my memory retained half of the homily but excluded the Lasallian brother who delivered it. *palm to forehead*

Now, enough of the drama. I just needed to write about it to move on (it’s therapeutic). At least the heart ache was worth it. 🙂

The last day I availed of the student fare was a fun and tiring one! I was at school by 9 AM to pick up the graduation uniform and had to walk in 3-inch wedges the whole day. It was so sweltering, my hair stuck to the back of my neck and my sweat seemed to attract the fabric of my dress. I was so tempted to swap my flip flops for my shoes (I have been getting queries about this one since my last post. I bought it from Forever 21 Singapore during the Great Singapore Sale last year), and that was what I did at the latter part of the day. Di ko na kaya mag-tiis ganda!

We were required to wear our toga during the mass. And just my luck, the one I got smelled like it have been used for three consecutive graduations without meeting any soap nor suds. My mom even described the smell as “amoy ukay”.

Only nine Computer Engineering students were candidates for graduation during the 164th Commencement Exercises of the university (and we’re missing one in this photo).